For men and women alike there can be much anxiety around changes in your sex life once you become pregnant and after baby is born.

The following 7 tips will help you enjoy a mutually satisfying sex life during pregnancy and following the birth of your baby.

(1) Understanding Your Responsibility In Sex

  Firstly, it is important to remember that you are not responsible for your partner or meeting the sexual needs of your partner.  

Women often experience guilt during pregnancy or when breastfeeding if they are not as sexually active as before. However, this comes from the flawed idea (often hidden in the recesses of our mind) that it is a woman’s duty to satisfy her partner.

  In sex as in every other area, each of us is responsible for managing our own feelings (our vibration). Just remembering that fact can be very good for your sex life. 

(2) Be open to changes that occur in your sex life.

  Many of us observe a different rhythm with regard to our sexual needs during pregnancy and after birth. (Different doesn’t necessarily mean less). Just allow what ever comes up to be.  

(3) Intend That Your Sex Life Will Actually Improve

  Decide that regardless of how it appears, this process will actually nourish and enhance your sex life and your love for each other. Talk about this with your partner and you can both visualise a much richer expression of intimacy and love.  

(4) Modeling To Your Baby

Discuss with your partner the messages you want to pass on to your unborn child or new baby. For example, if you both want your baby to be able to honour his or her own needs, you can start modelling that now in your sex life.

  This means that it is so alright for both of you to ask for what you want without judgement. And also it is alright for both to respond truthfully knowing that you are still loved, worthy of love and lovable.

(5) Tenderness Independent of Sex

Make room for lots of love and tenderness independent of sex. So you might start the day for example with naked cuddles in which the goal is just to enjoy each other’s bodies and connect in love.

(6) Big Yes v Small Yes

  Sometimes you may not be interested in intercourse when your partner is, but you are open to loving in other ways. John Gray (Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus) suggests having a little candle and a big candle beside the bed (one on each side).   

A big candle indicates ‘Yes, I feel like making love/ having sex’. A little candle communicates ‘I am not in the mood for sex but I am happy to play around (give you a hand)’.

  (7) Listen to Your Inner Wisdom 

Remember that when you are pregnant and feeding you are particularly connected to a deep wisdom within you. Embrace whatever comes up for you as an expression of your goddess energy…the sacred feminine within you.

  As you do so, your partner finds it much easier to step into his sacred masculine and the relationship (including sex) is elevated to a whole new level of fulfilment and satisfaction for you both.     In joy,
Deirdre Morris